i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize