Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
