i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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