Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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