i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
