and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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