clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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