I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its not stalking. its research.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize