Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
