he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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