Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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