i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
