Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
