My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think i have two assholes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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