i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
