just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
