Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
