You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
