i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I puked a lego.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
