Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
