38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just pee around me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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