best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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