If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
