you guys were way drunker than both of me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
