2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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