dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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