ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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