So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize