SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she told me i tasted like america
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize