Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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