My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
