WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
