So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
