he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
