What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
