i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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