I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
