no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
