PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
