She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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