ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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