her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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