is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
