im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
