He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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