I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize