He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
