omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
