This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
