I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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