I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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