She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
