It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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