did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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