it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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