the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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