I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
