If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
