I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
