ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I stole a fireplace last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize