I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
