Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
