ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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