I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
