sarcasm needs its own font
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
