people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
