just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
